BLACK FEZ STUDIOS

Carly's Zombie Cake Topper: The Final Cut!

2011-05-04T14:10:00.000-07:00

Here is the topper for Carly's wedding cake, in all it's gory glory! The bride and groom top the tier, bravely fighting off the advancing hordes. Pretty much an apt description of any couple in today's economic culture, don't you think?

Carly has the prerequisite chainsaw, while Mike has been assigned a nice luger. He was going to sport a shotgun, but one could not be found! To make up for that loss, I made sure Mike had a kick-ass cutlass to back them up.

I tried to make sure that Carly and Mike look like they are pushing back the hordes, but I slipped my favorite zombie behind them... It isn't a good zombie scene if something isn't lurking!

Carly's Zombie Cake: The Bride!

2011-04-26T16:51:00.000-07:00

Here is Carly herself. This figure is a hodge-podge of different figure elements; Ms. Marvel for the body, a GI Joe figure with the hair removed for the face, hand sculpted pony tail, sculpted bodice for the top part of the dress, and a hand sewn skirt for the bottom. I'm still on the hunt for a chainsaw!

Carly's Zombie Cake: The Fiance!

2011-04-24T10:13:00.000-07:00

Mike here took about three months longer to get to than expected; After taking on the project, I realized that there really aren't many (if any) action figures out there of just dudes in pants and a shirt! I was painting some Grimmleighs one day, and I remembered the Indiana Jones figures that came out a few years back! If solutions have a name...

The basic Indy has a button up shirt on, but it's a safari shirt. I shaved off all of the straps and flaps, then sanded down some of the other details. His face was re-shaped with a razor, then I smoothed out the crags on the face with some Magic-Sculpt. Mike has pretty shaggy hair, so I sculpted his signature locks onto his head. I also sculpted a loose tie around his neck.

Paint was a pretty simple affair, mostly matching color to pictures of Mike from Carly's Facebook page. The pistols are just temporary, I need to find a good shotgun or riot rifle for him!

Carly's Zombie Cake: The Zombies!

2011-04-23T14:34:00.000-07:00

Carly saw some pics of a super-hero themed wedding cake toppers I made a few years back, and asked about having a zombie cake made for her wedding in May. How could I say no? Carly wants a cake with her and her fiance fighting off some zombies. The hard part will be getting some sort of likeness of the couple, but I got lucky and found a few figures that came pretty close already, and should be great with a little tweaking!

The first thing that needed attention would be the zombies that are attacking the newlyweds. I wanted to cover a few types of zombies, and decided on a circus theme for the zombies (NO CLOWNS!).

The first zombie is the Strong Man. The figure was originally a Black Adam toy from the DC Universe action figure line. I didn't change much for him, just went at his head and chest cavity with the Dremel grinding tool. After gouging out some serious cavities, I went to work sculpting in some skeletal elements to make it look like he had been chewed down to the bone. The paint is a series of flesh tones, washed with a few custom glazes. The first glaze is a muddy brown, then a light Pthalo Green glaze followed. I finished his glazes with a very thin gun-metal grey.

The next zombie is the Acrobat. He was a stock Wrestling figure from the WWE line that I like to chop up for custom stock. Came treatment as the Strong Man, but I left the shavings from his head in place to really make the head wounds look nasty. The finishing touch on him was the Big Googly eye, which his a thin film of yellow glaze to help it look extra diseased.

The last zombie is the Animal Trainer. She started out as a Cover Girl GI Jow action figure. I Dremeled out the front cavity in her stomach, and sculpted in some intestines. The top of her head was hollowed out, and an open brain was sculpted in. I also added some nasty gnaw areas on her legs and arms, so she looks like she was really gone after!

My favorite thing on this zombie is the hair; Nothing looked right, so I unraveled some yarn and super-glued it in place. After setting, I used a couple of different shades of red glaze to make the hair look sticky and matted. The final result is grizzly as hell, and looks great!

Pictures of Carly and Mike are coming later in the week, and the final project should be up soon!

Carly has a great blog that covers just about everything under the Geeky Sun. It's a weekly must-read around here!

SDE! Bring on the Kobolds!

2011-04-15T23:49:00.000-07:00

Just finished up a batch of Kobold Gougers for Super Dungeon Explore! So far, there are four sets of Kobolds for SDE. I have the Gougers and the Flingers, which are still on the work-bench. The Gougers are pretty much cannon fodder, the type of troop that you can fling wave after wave of at your heroes!

With SDE, you have two sides. One side plays the heroes, and the other plays the Shadow Council; you know, the guy with the monsters. I've run a couple of quick games with my two packs of kobolds, and things get pretty nasty pretty quick. Of course, we're only playing with a Paladin right now, since my other two heroes aren't painted up yet!

The Gougers came three to a pack, and even though all three are the same model in the same pose, they paint up well enough that you can have some difference to the figures. The spears come as a separate piece from the main body, and glue on pretty easily. So far, I haven't seen very much flash on any Soda Pop minis, which makes getting everything cleaned up and ready for primer a pretty quick process! The Kobold Gougers sell for $14.95 for the pack of three, which might seem a little pricey at first. Considering that Soda Pop is a small, independent company, I think that the price is more than justified.

Think about it this way; someone out there decided to go out on a limb and do something different. Someone decided to create a miniature game that might appeal to a demographic that doesn't reek of stale Doritos, Mountain Dew, and bad cliches. If someone decides to take a chance like that, really put it out on the line, then I think that someone deserves my support!

Here's a few shots of the Gougers I have finished up! I'll be back in the Motherland all of next week, after that I'll show some pics of the Elf Ranger and the Mage!

Custom Super Dungeon Explore Minis!

2011-04-13T18:30:00.000-07:00

The finished version of Super Dungeon Explore won't be out until later this year. John Cadice at Soda Pop Miniatures says that there will be a full boxed version of the game, with heroes, monsters, and tiles. One of the great play elements of the game is that you not only have to wade through hordes of monsters, but you have to destroy the spawning points in the dungeon that they keep coming from! This makes the game feel an awful lot like the classic video game Gauntlet, but without the Green Elf shooting the food all the time!

I really couldn't wait until the full game release, and decided to hobble together some chibi monsters of my own! Being a huge fan of the undead, I decided to start there. I have about 5 bajillion skeletons and zombies from Warhammer, and thought that might work as a good base. The trick with anything chibi is that the body is pretty small, with tiny arms and legs, then a over-large head.

I started by chopping a good third of the length off of the mid sections of the legs and arms of the skeletons and zombies. Using really good plastic model glue, I re-joined the shortened segments together, and set everything aside for a day to bond. Then, I took a little dab of Magic-Sculpt and got to work making the heads. The skeleton was pretty easy, since we are looking for exaggerated features over realism. The zombie posed his own problems, since I didn't want to cross the line between cute and gross too far in either direction.

The final models turned out pretty cool; They're not exactly perfect representations of chibi style, but they'll work for the game in a pinch. I am making a couple of crypt markers to use as spawning points in the game, and maybe a custom vampire for a level boss. I'll post some pics when everything is done!

Super Dungeon Explore!

2011-04-12T14:33:00.000-07:00

One of the great joys of semi-retirement is getting a few minutes to paint something for yourself! As much as I loved getting the opportunity to paint armies professionally, it took a bit of the love of the craft out of the picture for me. Lately, I've been able to order some new minis and just have some fun painting again!

Super Dungeon Explore is a new game coming out from Soda Pop Miniatures. Soda Pop is run by three guys who spent some time working for some of the biggest companies in the industry, and decided to go out on their own and make some fun miniatures. Super Dungeon explore is their chibi line of minis, each figure is (dare I say it) super cute, and a blast to paint. After years of painting Khorne Berserkers, it was a ton of fun painting up my Paladin!

The miniatures I ordered from Soda Pop got to me within a week, and each came packaged in it's own clamshell case. I ordered the Paladin, Mage, Ranger, and two separate packs of Kobolds. So far, I only have the Paladin finished, but he was a ton of fun to paint, and looks great finished! The sculpts are clean, and there wasn't a lot of clean up to do before base-coating and painting!

From Soda Pop Miniatures Webstore

The game mechanics are a work in progress, and the final game will be out this Summer. I interviewed on of the owners for Geek Show, and the passion for the hobby really shines through. Check out Soda Pop Miniatures and see what I am talking about! Both of their lines are really cool. Super Dungeon Explore utilizes a lot of Chibi anime elements, with cute, super-deformed features dominating the line. Relic Knights uses more traditional anime themes, and isn't afraid to throw in a ton of fan service!

You can find the full assortment of Soda Pop Miniatures at either their website, or at several online games retailers, like Cool Mini or Not or the Warstore. Both of the Online retailers carry Super Dungeon Explore and Relic Knights figures, but I think ordering directly from Soda Pop lets these guys keep the funds at work in-house. I'll have some pics of custom Super Dungeon Explore figs later this week!

From Soda Pop Miniatures Webstore

Hoyt Warmachine Battle Mages Final Shots

2011-01-20T16:26:00.000-08:00

Ingram Inquisitor Retinue Pics

2011-01-18T19:47:00.000-08:00

Mr. Ingram wanted a few Henchmen to use with 40k Roleplay, a couple of Crusaders and a Stormtrooper Sergeant. I took the liberty of making sure that they all fit into his regular 40k army, just in case they had some need to make a special appearance!

Warmachine Battle Mage Test Shots

2010-12-28T18:21:00.000-08:00

I've always wanted to paint some Warmachine miniatures; They have a great blend of fantasy and Steampunk sensibilities, and look fantastic! Mr. Hoyt asked if I had time to take some Battle Mages on, and I had some spare time after the holidays. The first batch is House Shyeel Battle Mages, and here is the first test shot, making sure all the colors work out the way Mr. Hoyt had asked.

Librarian Commission Shots

2010-11-14T23:34:00.000-08:00

Ingram Commission 5 Final Proof Pics

2010-10-16T17:16:00.000-07:00

Mr. Ingram and I went over the proofs, and added some scripting to the weapons and armor, also cleaned up the eyes and added pupils were possible.

Ingram Commission 5 Pics

2010-10-13T14:48:00.000-07:00

Final shots of one of my last commissions, please note the metal color for the headband has been added to the figure shown last in the slideshow; It's kind of amazing what you don't notice you missed until you're looking at the proofs!

Ultramarines Command Raider

2010-10-06T14:37:00.000-07:00

Just about finished pics of the Command Land Raider, decided against magnets for the forward sponson swap out option, both the twin linked Heavy Bolter and the Dreadnought socket in really nice without it!

WiP Ultramarines Land Raider

2010-09-29T17:20:00.000-07:00

I've been working on this project for Howard for going on three years now! I wanted to make the Land Raider for Marneus Calgar something truly epic, and scrapped four different designs (and one whole model) before I came up with this little beauty. Cathedral arch doors and a couple of flying buttresses class up the back, while the front sponson has a magnet that allows Howard to either field the standard Heavy Bolter arrangement, or swap in Venerable Brother Lucian, a Dreadnought specially outfitted to bear heavy weapons and an advance sensor array... More on that later! Here's the pics!

The paint job will be heavily weathered, with battle damage and wear. There will also be quite a bit of hand-drawn scrolling and Imperial scripture all over the hull.

Storm Trooper Chimera

2010-01-19T18:27:00.000-08:00

Finishing up Dave's order with a sweet transport for his Storm-Troopers, nicely accented with some Forgeworld kit.

Ingram Storm Troopers 2nd Squad

2010-01-19T18:24:00.000-08:00

Wrapping up the group with ten more Stormtroopers, same color scheme as before.

Throne of Judgement

2010-01-18T18:50:00.000-08:00

This model made me it's bitch. I came out on top, but am less of a man for my struggles!

Space Wolves Logan Grimnar Diorama

2010-01-13T20:32:00.000-08:00

Thought I would post this baby again, just found it in a file and realised how much I loved working on it!

Blood Angels Touch-Ups

2010-01-13T20:23:00.000-08:00

One of the more interesting aspects of commission work is reading your client; I have been painting figures for Buck for nearly two years, and I have a pretty good understanding of what he likes in a figure. That being said, sometimes you miss some things. Also, when you've looked at a figure for a couple of hours, you miss some BIG things, like forgetting to paint hilt-guards on the chainswords! The following pics are touch-ups of earlier posted models. I added some scroll work to the greaves on the Assualt Marines, got a banner finished for the banner carrier, and removed the decals from the Dreadnaught at Buck's request. The decals gave me some concern, since the chemical I use to set them literally melts them to the model, and I was going to paint over them, but that can leave a outline in the paint. Lesson? That same solvent softens the decals enough to rubb them off !

Ingram Inquisitor

2010-01-11T20:25:00.000-08:00

Not sure where David picked this up, I can't find it in any catalogue, he's a real badass though! I painted him up to match David's Sister's of Battle squads, which I'll post later.

And here's a shot of the finished Hector Rex fig, all the metal has been picked out and cleaned up.

Blood Angels Dreadnaught

2010-01-11T20:21:00.000-08:00

The pics don't really do justice to this; red washes out, and silver glares and reflects funny.That said, it still looks pretty wicked!

Blood Angels Command Characters

2010-01-10T18:11:00.000-08:00

These three command figs came together rather nicely, still need to finsish the actual banner; I know Buck wants something with a Southern Cross motife. Just a dreadnaught to go, and this comission is ready to ship!

Blood Angels Assualt Squad

2010-01-10T18:06:00.000-08:00

Custom Blood Angels Champion

2010-01-10T18:03:00.000-08:00

Not sure where Buck picked up this awesome fig, I know it isn't part of the
GW catalogue!

Inquisitor Lord Hector Rex and Retinue

2010-01-06T23:01:00.000-08:00

He's a Daemon slaying bad-ass! Pretty sweet model, and almost done, too. Have to clean up the metallics a bit, other than that, he's looking sweet!

Happy Halfling Tavern

2010-01-04T18:49:00.000-08:00

Thought I would post some pics of a pretty cool tavern I whipped up a few years back, it's foam core and balsa construction, and looks great on the table!

Ingram Stormtroopers Log One

2009-11-22T20:47:00.000-08:00

Here are the first 8 figs in David's Inquisition group; Eight Stormtroopers to match some Sisters of Battle. There will be another 8 Stormtroopers, a Chimera, a Throne of Judgement, and several Inquisitors.

Eldar Wraithlord Final Pics

2009-11-13T18:15:00.000-08:00

Wanted to show off how bad-ass the weapon mounts look on this thing! Every weapon combo has been magnetized, so Keith can field a close combat monster, or get to work with single or dual shoulder mounts!

Eldar Falcon Pics

2009-11-13T18:13:00.000-08:00

Here is Keith's Falcon... She is pretty. Also made so all the weapon options are possible!

Eldar Wraith Lord

2009-11-07T23:04:00.000-08:00

This fig makes me goofy in the head. The sheer number of magnets and possibilties for gaming are immense, and the figure ended up a pretty poseable action figure as a side effect. Arms move on a pivet, are interchangeable, torso swivels, head turns, and the shoulder mounts can accept any possible weapon combo that can be fielded. I'll get a few more pics posted with the shoulder mount guns. Really, couldn't be happier with this!

Eldar Jet Bikes

2009-11-07T22:54:00.000-08:00

Keith's second Eldar project, getting some serious speed on with this jet bike squad. Still working on the last two for this six-bike unit, the last two are giving me some grief with the Shuriken cannon, which will be able to swap out with magnets. Nice bikes, though!

Ultramarine Command Squad Log Three

2009-10-27T21:13:00.000-07:00

I love this figure, imposing and intimidating

all at once. Once the final details get finished,

he may be figure of the year!

The Company Champion is a pretty cool figure, too. I love the Ceturian style helmet. Tried layering in a subtle energy hue to the blades.

Ultramarines Command Squad Log Two

2009-10-26T21:25:00.000-07:00

Here's the first of Howard's Honor Guards; I took the liberty of matching his color scheme completely to Calgar's, and he should look awesome displayed with the rest of the squad. More tomorrow!

Ultramarine Command Squad Log 1

2009-10-26T21:20:00.000-07:00

This is a sad one to admit; I took this one on almost two years ago, and it keeps getting away from me. Hopefully, after what I show off here over the next week, Howard will call off the assassins. Hopefully...

For anyone new to the project, here is Marneus Calgar, leader of the Ultramarines and the focus for the command squad. There will be ten miniatures total, with a completely custom Land Raider, and a display diorama. This is also one of the last projects I take on before retiring from miniature painting (don't worry, if I have your project, I will be finishing it shortly!)

Deathwing Land Raider One

2009-10-02T16:57:00.000-07:00

More of John's awesome Land Raiders. I imagine any Eldar player probably hates seeing this on the other side of the table!

Deathwing Land Raider 2

2009-10-02T16:55:00.000-07:00

The scariest thing about these Land Raiders is that there are now at least eight of them! I drew up the banner swords custom for John, and he has the only Raiders out there with that design!

Eldar Wave Serpent Final Pics

2009-09-08T21:36:00.000-07:00

Final pics of Keith's Eldar Wave Serpents:

Eldar Waveserpent Final Log 2

2009-09-08T21:34:00.000-07:00

Final pics of the second Waveserpent for Keith's Eldar:

Eldar Wave Serpents Log Three

2009-09-02T23:31:00.000-07:00

Mostly finished shots of one of the Wave Serpent hulls. I say mostly finished, because I know something is going to jump out and scream "YOU MISSED ME!"

Canopy won't be added till the model is clear-coated, since the varnish will haze clear plastic. Also need to finish the weapons assembly, which is a pretty complicated assortment of magnets, Eldar guns, and swearing. All in all, it will work out amazingly well, though!

Eldar Wave Serpents Log Two

2009-09-02T23:29:00.000-07:00

More WIP shots of Keith's Wave Serpents. You can see the color layering coming together here, which is a pretty complicated trick, all said about 8 layers of green worked together through washes.

Eldar Wave Serpents Project Log One

2009-09-02T23:21:00.000-07:00

I've got to hand it to Keith; I took this project on for him over a year ago, and with all the chaos with the move, recession, and starting two new jobs, things fell through the cracks. And kept on going. For a year. Anywho, these pics are from a while ago. I always work the underhull first, then make sure the interior has some detail. No one will know when the model is done, but I will!

Ork Big Mekk with Shokk Gun

2009-08-30T19:53:00.001-07:00

I'm pretty happy with this guy! Bill wanted a Death Skullz scheme

Imperial Guard Officers

2009-08-30T19:49:00.000-07:00

Pics of Imperial Guard Officers for Bill's Army, some of the pics got blurry, but you can see the detail for the most part.

Imperial Guard Manticore Finished Pics

2009-08-25T13:46:00.001-07:00

The Manticore posed a bit of a challenge; Bill wanted it to look like one of the rockets was firing, but the mount really didn't allow that. My solution was to sculpt a rocket flare that could be plugged into the exhaust on any one of the rockets, which gives it a pretty cool effect. The sharks on the rockets were a bit of fun for Guard, which can be rather static. I put a bunch of extra gear on this tank, too, so that it looked like it could be behind the lines for an extended period.

Imperial Guard Hydra Log Finished Pics

2009-08-25T13:43:00.001-07:00

Finished Hydra pics with decals

Imperial Guard Hydra Log 2

2009-08-24T11:20:00.000-07:00

Updated pics of Bill's Hydra tanks, all that remains is army and squad markings.

Imperial Guard Hydra Log 1

2009-08-23T10:53:00.001-07:00

The next set of vehicles for Bill's Imperial Guard, this time it's three Hydra Tanks and one Manticore. So far, the hulls are assembled and painted, with weathered treads. Storm Bolters are affixed, one with a gunner. Each tank will have one crew, with the Manticore sporting a tank commander and tread guards when it's done.

Valkyrie Project Log Four

2009-08-07T23:13:00.000-07:00

Almost done, actually, it IS done, I just need to photo with the weapons in! The finished model has a few mods over the standard kit, namely with magnets. The drum missiles will be able to field or not with a quick magnet mount. Missiles still mount on rack as standard, and I put a magnet on the back ramp to keep it from flopping open every time you move the model. I have to say, it;s hard not making wooshing moises whenever you move this model!
The other big challenge was keeping the gunners useable. The way the kit is designed, you can mount the gunner inside the door, but they fall off the mount easilly. So, I pinned the guns in place to the mount, but in a manner that still allows the guns to swivel. The guns can swivel in to shut the doors, or pop out with the doors open. And you can see the gunners, too! (Just not in the pics, dammit!)

Valkyrie Project Log Three

2009-08-03T10:03:00.001-07:00

Color test for Star Wars themed Storm Trooper gunner for Imperial Guard. The color scheme is more Biker Scout than flat out trooper, but it works. Well. The two gunner will barely be visible through the Valyrie doors when they open, but will look great.

Valkyrie Project Log Two

2009-08-01T23:19:00.000-07:00

Moving along nively now, interior is finished, and since these pics were snapped the whole plane has been assembled. I wanted the interior finished before assembly, a lesson I've learned after painting 30 Land Raiders. The interior will hardly even be visible, but knowing it's there is kind of cool. Gunners will carry the Star Wars theme, with a stark black/white Storm Trooper theme, proabably more like a Biker Scout since there is so much fabric. Those should be posted tomorrow!

Blood Angels Dreadnought Log part One

2009-08-01T23:10:00.000-07:00

You have to love the Furioso Dreadnought! I'm still holding out for an all plastic kit, though. The reds are blocked in, shaded, and highlighted, with the same for the metallics. Next comes some detail work and clean up, then some scrolling. More soon!

Buck Blood Angels Assault Log One

2009-07-30T23:24:00.000-07:00

Big follow up to Buck's Blood Angels project from about a year ago. Buck wants an Assault Squad and some other goodies, here's progress on the first project. Primary colors have been blocked in, and the reds are shaded and highlighted. Next step will be highlights on the yellow.

Valkyrie Project Log One

2009-07-26T23:14:00.000-07:00

Log One for Bill's Valyrie! The cockpit is assembled and painted. I am taking it on this way to make sure that all the details on the interiors are visible when the entire kit is finished. There is still some touch up that needs to be finished, but overall, the project is really coming together. Bill wanted the Valkyrie to pay homage to the Empire in Star Wars, so the pilots are in jet black armor and helmets, with dark grey/black cloth. I am trying to match the grey that was used on the TIE fighters and AT-AT walkers. This is going to be a pretty damned sweet model!

Long Time Coming

2009-01-29T23:08:00.001-08:00

Sometimes, seven years between comics is way too damned long. I decided to stop trying to make the great American comic and just draw the damned thing. Took the better part of the evening, but it was, dare I say it? FUN. Hope it was worth the wait, Matt!

Hordes Pics

2009-01-27T19:01:00.001-08:00

Just finished these figures for a client. Really enjoyed the opportunity to take a break from all the Space Marines I ussualy paint to get some fantasy color going. Not my typical pallette, but a really good learning experience!

Sidestepped Into Dimension MMX2-V

2009-01-27T14:13:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I wake up pretty sure I slept into an alternate dimension. One where most things are the same, but some trivial aspect of life is different. Some would say that parallel dimensions would behave in such a manner, and that the farther you travel from the prime dimension, the more drastic and noticeable the differences would be. What's the difference?

I'm in a pretty good mood. And have been for a week or longer.

It started about a week and a half ago, when I decided that something needed to change for my business to work. Since moving to SLC I have been trying to work out of the little area we all hang out in, and that has been disruptive to say the least. I cleaned out and dusted a room that wasn't being used, and set up my studio. Got everything organized, and have been going hog wild ever since. The best part is that I don't have to put a project away, it can sit in it's area until I'm done with it!

The other change in life was accidental, but feels pretty much like a destiny adjustment. I have been working since we got here cleaning carpets, which was supposed to be a part time gig. Problem is, it paid pretty well, and the income was more dependable than the miniature painting at that time. I got caught up in that, and learned that the two lines of work don't gel well. Carpet cleaning eats up a guys hands, and wrecks a back. Things got bad. Then the holidays came and went, and the work went down to an almost non-existant level. I went out and applied for a few jobs to supplement the carpet cleaning, but the nature of that job makes it very hard to schedule anything.

Last Wednesday I got a call from Discover financial services. Seven hours and countless interviews and assessments later, I was a newly minted Account Manager with a decent wage and killer benefits. My family has insurance for the first time since I left the casino industry, and I'll be able to paint without giant cracks and burns all over my hands.

It was kind of funny that I got the job in the first place; I've never worked in banking, and straight customer service work has not been a big fixture either. Strangely, though, the casino and radio work all applies in a weird sort of way, and if that works for them, it works for me!

Finished up a pretty big Hordes order over the last few weeks, I put some pics up later!

Sunday, Bloody Sunday

2009-01-11T10:21:00.000-08:00

Dramatic!

And one of my favorite songs. What a week! And, uh, what a week. I've been having a good time, painting a ton of figures, hanging out with the family, and, well, playing WoW. Not that it's all consuming, mind you, it's just that with things the way they are, there isn't much other than those things to do. Things with the carpet cleaning job are just shy of dead, and although I've known for months tha the first of the year is slow, I wasn't anticipating HOW slow it would be.

My last check? $255 for two weeks work. My check before that was nearly four times that much. My average over the last three months has been closer to $800. What does this mean? It means I have to find another job, and quickly. And while the guy I work for would prefer that I find something that works around the carpet cleaning job, I'm pretty sure that will be next to impossible to pull off. The carpet job is all over the place with scheduling; sometimes you're working at 8am, sometimes the jobs start at 8PM. Not a whole lot of predictability for a second job.

This is where I'm wishing to hell I had finished college. I'm 39, and although I have an eclectic mix of job skills and management experience, I really don't have paper to fall back on. Big mistake. And while I worked in radio for five years plus, that was small market, and that counts for squat here, being one of the top 30 markets in the U.S.

The funny part is, I know some people who have it a hell of a lot worse than I do, and that scares me. It seems that most of my customer base is capable of paying for minis, but painting and carpet cleaning do NOT go hand in hand. The cleaning solutions eat your skin, and sometimes the muscles are screaming from the strain. Then again, it's not like I've been cleaning a lot over the last few weeks, so painting has been a lot easier to pull off.

It's Sunday, though, so that means movies with the family, and maybe, JUST MAYBE, some WoW. At least on WoW I have a good paying job. Now all I have to do is figure out how THAT can pay the bills. Not the game, just the character.

Oh Crap!

2009-01-08T20:11:00.000-08:00

Today I spent the better part of the day painting figures, and they look fabu. Then, I decided it was time to bottle some hard cider.

Big mistake!

I had 5 gallons total to bottle. 3 gallons of the good, hard hooch, and 1 each with blueberry and blackberry, since I felt the need for experimentation. The problem is, my syphon skills are suck sauce, so I ended up "accidentally" drinking quite a bit of my tasty home brewed goodness. And now? Everything is fuzzy as hell.

But I didn't stop there. Hells no.

Since mid August I have been fermenting a blueberry melomel. Those of you in the know understand what an amazing batch of amzingness I have going here. Those of you who DON'T know will soon understand that a melomel is a fruit mead. What is mead, you ask? Well, Jimmy, it's only the oldest known form of fermented alcohol on the planet! It's made from honey, and if you add fruit to the starting stock it's called a melomel. Since I like blueberries, I made one. And it's a doozy. And about 14% alcohol, sooooooo...

I only had a sip. A 10 ounce sip. It's so damned tasty. Problem is, homebrew makes me really damned sleepy, and this stuff is no exception. I have a bunch of stuff I need to do, but all I can think about is blueberry honey goodness and a full night's sleep.

Sweet.

My New Favorite Miniature Line

2009-01-07T23:32:00.001-08:00

Finally, got my website shit figured out and cleared up, and have some long-promised updates posted. Check them out here... Now for the meat of this post:

I'm flabergastedly in love with the Hordes line of miniatures. I've been painting figures for ove 25 years, and I have never, EVER been so giddy over painting a figure as these. The lines are crisp and clean, the figures have a dynamic energy to them, and they are a blast to paint. Here are a few snaps of a couple I just finished up. Other shots can be seen at my site:

The client wanted an autumnal color scheme, and I got a little nervous; I tend to paint dark, and the colors he was talking about steer straight into warm territory. How to paint that without it looking gaudy? And I still wasn't happy with the glazes I had been mixing up. I was pretty frazzled by the prospect, but excited about the challenge!

The Warp Wolf has close to ten layers of glaze washed over white for the flesh, and he's just a beauty. My personal favorite, though, is the Druid figure shown. I went with lots of warm oranges, reds, and golds, and mixed a moss green for the skirting. All the leathers are warm and worn looking. Just love this figure! I'm probably picking up some of these for my own use!

On another note, we passed on sledding today, since sleds appear to be sold out. Nickelmania, on the other hand, was a blast. Ten bucks in nickels had all four of us busy for over two hours, and the boy and I got to play Guantlet the way Gawd intended, one coin at a time! Check it out if you want to have a little blast from the past on the cheap.

I'm working on another idea that I'm pretty excited about after buying a soft sculpture book for Molly and Rachel. I'll post more when I figure it out!

And finally, congrats to Matt for losing ten pounds AND his shitty job! I really couldn't be happier for the guy. He's one of the best natured people on the planet, and losing weight will probably save his life, which is good. This shit-hole would be much shit-holier without him on it!

Check out his blog on my links and cheer the guy on!

Frustrations Ahoy!

2009-01-06T22:54:00.000-08:00

I was pretty excited about getting some new pics up today of some figures I have finished. They look great, but I want to host them on MY site. It's an ego thing. I had a site for years, and things were pretty groovy with the site and me. We would go for long walks, talk about the future, you name it. Then, crap got pretty thick over the summer and I had to say goodbye to the site. We had some tears, then I held it close and put smothered it in it's sleep.

I felt terrible.

The holidays came along, and I had a little extra money and an incentive from Yahoo to launch a new site. I was able to import the old one, fix a few things, and viola! New site! Old Site! Just enough to make a guy happy. Then the crap hit the rotary cooling unit.

I can't get pictures loaded. Every time I try, I get an error. That's pretty frustrating. Not as frustrating as the figure that I spent 8 hours on that keeps losing paint (stupid large metal figs!), but enough to make me just a tad cranky. But, I have a solution.

It's been snowing a hell of a lot lately. The kids have never been sledding. Tomorrow, we're going to get some roll-up Death Sled 2000's and change the world. Then off to the nickle arcade to revell in the 8 bit glories of yester-year!

Black Fez Studios Update (I Hope!)

2009-01-05T18:44:00.000-08:00

I took a whole bunch of pictures of miniatures to post. I cropped them up all nice and pretty, got my logo on them, and set out to update my new website with this new bounty of beautiful pics. They won't go up! I push, pull and prod, and the damned site just blinks back at me like a labradore that your trying to teach how to jump through a hoop. I'll post a few here, and hopefully I'll be able to get the website working properly a little later!

You know what happens to carpet cleaning equipment when it's 10 degrees outside? IT FREEZES! Oh, nothing like iced over equipment to make you want to jump up and high-five God. Had to disconnect everything and soak it in hot water in order to finish the job, and by the time that was done I was barely pulling eight bucks an hour. When things go well, I do well. When things go bad, well, I swear a lot.

I'm thinking about desiging a board game in my 15 minutes of daily spare time. It will steal horribly from Monopoly, the Game of Life, and Quarters. Yes, it will be a drinking board game! Yay! I'm sure I'll get distracted by some other pretty, sparkly thing, but so far I'm pretty jazzed.

I got to pick the movies for the Geekshow Movienight in February, and I'm pretty excited. Unfortunately, I can't say anything about it right yet. It's going to be great, though!

Didn't get the Hordes figures finished for tonight, but it's not like the site is behaving well enough to show them anyway! I'll try to get a couple of them posted here tomorrow. I promise!

New Geekshow Eps Recorded TODAY

2009-01-04T18:55:00.000-08:00

I realised today that I have a lot of jobs. By day (and sometimes night) I am a humble carpet puncher. By night (and sometimes day) I am a cocky and somewhat bewildered miniaturist. And three Sundays out of four, I am involved with the Geekshow. We record two shows at a time every other Sunday, and the last Sunday of each month we have our free movie night at Brewvies. Leaves a guy only a few hours a day for family and Warcraft!

Today's recordings, or what I remember of them, covered Christmas presents, a bit on comics, and general ranting and raving on the state of the Watchmen movie. The next show covered television shows, and the last segment covers guilty confessions. Strangely, I have none. I'm just that secure in my geek nature. You can check out the Geek Show Podcast here, or better yet, subscribe to our show free on iTunes and help us be popular enough for beer money. Also, if you live in Utah, you can catch my pretty face on Comcast Utah on Demand, Channel one, then click on Geekshow. It's a good time. At least for me!

Tomorrow should be a pretty big post, with pics and links to a pretty big serving of Sisters of Battle from Warhammer 40k, and hopefully some finished Hordes figures. By the way, those Hordes figs might just be some of the prettiest sculpts I have ever seen!

Best Workout EVER!

2009-01-03T21:44:00.000-08:00

Today sucked.

Bigtime.

And not in that peppy, claymation Peter Gabriel kind of Bigtime.

Went to work this morning for "one job". That ussually means another one gets added, but whatever. I'm down with a little wage slaving. Got to work, went to the first job, and hammered out some pretty nice looking carpets in a couple of hours. Right as we were putting the hoses away, the boss calls and tells us there is a rental that needs to be done. Today.

Ugh. Rentals. Seriously, people. Never, ever rent your home out. There is no way in hell you can comprehend the amount of damage the fucking bottom feeder that decides to rent your dive will do to it. Have you ever seen a blue carpet that has been peed on so many times that it's been bleached yellow? I have. Today. There were also blood stains, cigarette burns, and what I believe to be dried vomit and ramen. But that's not where the story begins.

Turns out the boss' crazy assed dad took the call for the rental job, and wrote down all the information wrong. So, we drove around, got to the address, and knocked on the door. A bewildered old man answered the door:

"Hello, fellas!" He said, practically beggin to be pat upon the head.

"Hi, Mister Customer! We're here to clean your carpet!" Says I, the customer care phenom of 2009.

"But it's old, and needs to be replaced!" Says he, obviously confused. I ask his last name, which is not the name on the ticket. He then admits that he wasn't actually waiting for a carpet cleaner, but an installer was supposed to be coming out. We call the REAL client, who confirms that we were at the wrong address. A quick thrust of the gas pedal later, we arrive.

The place is a standard split level rental hell. Stains everywhere, cat hair, urine, vomit, and I swear to god, demons in the toilet. I call the client and tell her it will be close to $300 to clean the joint, and she tells me she's not paying, the property management company is. Whatever. We clean, the place gets DIRTIER as we remove the top layer of grime, and I realise that I died and arrived in hell. It was sometime after the third giant cat pee stain that I had to admit that hell would be an improvement.

Finally, the job is done, Helper Boy Justen is fastened into his booster seat, and off we go to drop off the van and pat each other on the back. The phone rings. It's the boss. The job from yesterday has called, and complained about the quality of the work we did. We need to re-do. A 4000 square foot clinic. At this point, I realise that the House of Cat Pee was just the warmup.

Long story still long, turns out the carpet at the clinic is just old and worn out, but we cleaned it a second time anyway. We grew together as people, had a bitter sweet laugh at our own expense, and marvelled at how buff 12 hours of carpet cleaning can make a guy.

Level 30. Bravo, me. Bravo.

2009-01-02T19:59:00.000-08:00

How sad for me. Two months ago I was one of those happy WoW mockers that had plenty of jokes at the ready for the sad, loveless masses that play World of Warcraft. After several months as the official Game Geek on the Geekshow Podcast, it became apparent that I really couldn't BE official without at least playing the damned game. Then, Rachel and I went to dinner at a friend's house. Her husband John loves the WoW, and showed me around. It was pretty. I like pretty. It has Orcs. I like Orcs. I went home, got a trial account, you know, just to check it out, and a month and a half later, little Maugrott the Orc is level 30. He dooesn't have a sweet animal to ride around, and his gear sucks, but level 30. Guess the joke is on me now.

Diet is going pretty well, even if it's only two days I'll call it a plus. Worked pretty hard at a clinic for kids with Autism, which was kind of weird, having worked in that field so long ago. Don't ask me what's changed, though. I was just the carpet cleaner. Level 42, yo.

It's snowing again in the City, and there are few things I dislike as much as snow. There also appears to be a direct connection between when I have to clean carpets and how much snow falls on the Valley. I used to think I was being silly, but for the week I didn't work, it didn't snow. Not even once.

I hate snow. But I have a level 30 Orc Warrior, so all is well.

The Wheel in the Sky Keeps on Turning

2009-01-01T22:02:00.000-08:00

Okay, pathetic Journey allegory aside, it's day two. Things are looking good for today, but tomorrow I have to clean a children's hospital's carpets. I am expecting a lot of gum. I freaking hate gum.

Here's the rundown:

On the Bench

Hordes figures :

Today's Music: The Dears via Rhapsody

Diet: Going well. Easy being motivated for one whole day! Got a walk in, too.

Work: Painted for a bunch of hours

House: Fixed a 'sploded pipe in the bathroom, flexed mightily in the mirror as reward.

Reading: Watchmen GN, I KNOW I'm 24 years late on this one, give me a freaking break!

Drawing: Getting started tonight on a concept. I'll try and post a sketch tomorrow.

Things learned

1: Special features on Hellboy 2 rock hard. Got the gears flipping about pretty hard.

2: Steamed pudding isn't that hard, just takes some time and patience, and is pretty tasty.

3: Big heavy icicles can destroy a metal trashcan

The kids and I tried to figure out Munchkin today, and we had a pretty good time of it, even though I'm pretty sure we got it mostly wrong. We're going to give it another spin tomorrow after I get home and wash all the glue off of my shoes. If you haven't checked it out, it's pretty cool!

My really good friend Matt is going to try and take control of his life and lose 194 pounds. Matt is one of the best friends I've got, and I can only hope he can do it. I can't wait to talk to him as he goes down this road. He's put a blog together to chronical the whole journey, check it out and cheer him on!

I want to come up with a workout that will really blast me into shape. I've been up and down the last 40 pounds that I need to lose, and I know I can take it off. I finally decided to get pretty cut, though, so I've got to hit the research and come up with something that will blast my arms, tone my abs, and grow all my hair back. In ten minutes a day.

New Year, Shmew-Shmeer

2008-12-31T23:49:00.000-08:00

Happy 2009, people. Go into this knowing that I probably love something about you, and one of you I love most everything about.

2008 has, for all intents and purposes, sucked more than any year for me since 1993. That was the previous record holder for shittiest rotation 'round the sun, but it ended with me meeting Rachel, so perhaps the ending of 2008 will have similarly positive life altering effects.

At the beginning of 2008, I was pretty gainfully self employed, making a good living doing something I mostly enjoy doing. I say that I MOSTLY enjoy doing it because I am pretty sure that I would be disatisfied doing anything for a living. For instance, I really enjoy eating Mexican food and playing World of Warcraft, but if you hired me to do that for a living I would probably find something to whine about. I'm wacky that way. Anyway, 2008 ended with me barely self employed, and working in a field that I SWORE left and right I would never allow myself to work in again. I'm grateful for the work, and the pay is good, but anyone who has cleaned for another person for money knows what I am talking about. You clean shit (sometimes literally) for people. You are the shit cleaner. That means that mostly you are associated with shit. Chalk up a big decline for the year in that area of my life.

One year ago, we had a nice enough house in a okay (redneck) part of the country with nothing to do. Now, we live in my grandmother in law's attic, all four of us and our three pets crammed into a space about a third of the size of our house in Oregon. There is plenty to do, but with the new jobs, struggling business, kids, and the caretaking of the grandmother, we very rarely have the energy to do it. Nothing like living in a great big city full of things to do and not really doing much. We try, and sometimes succeed, so I'll call it a draw here. The one thing we have here is a lot of friends, so there is something akin to a social life that we never had in Oregon.

One of the other problems for us has been our house. While we are here looking after Oma, our house is sitting empty, just-this-close to sellable. I've been out once with my friend Jerry, and the work we got done was amazing. I'll be out later in January to finish, and hopefully we can get it sold. Being out from under a mortgage would be a HUGE relief, but with the economy being what it is I'm not holding my breath. At least not for long.

I found out my biological father had died four years ago, and that put me on a weird path that led to family I never knew, and relationships that have changed my outlook on a lot of things. It also illuminated me on some issues I have that I would have never known about otherwise. I also spent the last week of my grandfather's life getting to know more about him than ever before, and while I still have a lot of enmity towards him for some things, I have a ton of compassion for him that I had never been exposed to. Perhaps that's why I've been so adamant about our moving here to look after Oma. Rachel and her grandmother had a very strong relationship, and I want to make sure she doesn't regret the last bit of time her grandma has as much as I regret my grandpa's. He was a miserable bastard for a good part of my life, but when the time came for him to go, he was just a scared old man who didn't want to die alone.

The only other big problem has been the stress, and not mine. Sometimes I think Rachel is going to EXPLODE. He grandma drives her up the freaking wall, and the bitterness can be a tad overwhelming. I wish to hell I could help, but it's a personality thing, ie, her grandma is making her crazy-sauce. I know we did the right thing coming out here, but I think Rachel thought we would be here for a few months then get back to living our lives. Neither of us was expecting Oma to rally as strongly as she did, and she needs us pretty badly, but I need to find an outlet for her stress or she'll 'splode.

It's not all doom and gloom this past year, though. We have reconnected with some people we haven't seen in a decade or more, and with Geekshow I have an outlet that has been pretty essential to not killing any cleaning customers with pure rage. Rachel has even reconnected with one of her oldest friends, and we have been having a pretty good time getting together with them for dinner.

I'm looking at this new year with a mix of hope and cynisism. I've also become painfully aware that 39 is a little late in the game to not know what I want to be when I grow up. I've made some resolutions, and they may drive some people nuts, but I hope to be addressing things a lot more optimistically in 365 days that I have for the last. The only way that is going to happen is by really grabbing on to who I am and trying to take control, for once and for all, of who I am and WHAT I am, and steering that person in the right direction instead of drifting from encounter to encounter, then paddling frantically to keep up.

Good luck, to all of you, and especially to me.

Prawdzik Dark Angels Scouts

2008-12-15T22:43:00.000-08:00

I'm pretty happy with this scout squad, but the pics don't capture the rich tones on the Heavey Bolter trooper. Guess you'll have to take my word on it!

Prawdzik Dark Angels Dreadnaught

2008-12-15T22:40:00.000-08:00

I put Trialartes here together with magnets so that Joe can swap out the weapons he fields this model with depending on the army he's facing!

Prawdzik Rhinos

2008-12-15T22:39:00.001-08:00

Not the best pics, but the best I could do with mostly dead batteries!

Prawdzik Dark Angels Devastator Squad

2008-12-15T22:34:00.000-08:00

Joe's Devastator Squad, lots of tank crushing here!

Prawdzik Assault Squad

2008-12-11T21:59:00.001-08:00

Finished pics of Joe's Dark Angels Assualt Squad:

This figure makes me very, very happy!

Prawdzik Dark Angels Tactical Squad Six

2008-12-11T21:50:00.001-08:00

Joe Prawdzik's Sixth Dark Angel's Tactical Squad Commission. Joe

wanted me to paint his figures Black instead of the ussual Dark Angels Green, and I wanted to make sure that they were more than just black paint. Dark grey primer, shadow gray and Space Wolves Grey highlights, and multiple black glases give the figures a nice depth.

Prawdzick Dark Angels Tactiacl Squad One

2008-12-11T21:36:00.000-08:00

Joe Prawdzick's First Tactical Dark Angels Squad:

Simpson Imperial Guard Commission

2008-11-30T13:58:00.000-08:00

Here's the last set of pics for Matt Simpson's current batch of Imperial Guard, a pretty sweet Heavy Weapons team for his Imperial Guard. Now that my hands have toughened up to the brutality of the new job I should be able to paint even more!

More Simpson Guard Commission

2008-11-30T13:54:00.000-08:00

More Imperial Guard for Matt Simpson in the UK, this time custom Cadian Snipers. The cloaks are hand sculpted with a camo scheme, and custom sniper rifles.

Simpson Commission Pics

2008-11-03T15:58:00.000-08:00

Mr. Simpson is one of the few unfortunate souls who has endured the ups-and-downs of my recent upheaval, and I hope his patience is rewarded with these pics! He wanted this cool Inquisitor Lok figure painted to look like a Cadian Officer; It's my first "real" Forge World figure, and if things ever normal out again, these might be all I ever paint!

Here's a shot of the of the Command Squad assembled behind the leader:

Simpson Commission Pics 2

2008-11-03T15:54:00.001-08:00

Here's the rest of the command squad for Mr. Simpson's Imperial Guard army commission.

Final John M. Commission Pics

2008-10-31T21:06:00.001-07:00

More John M. Commission Pics

2008-10-31T21:02:00.001-07:00

More pics

John M. Commission Pics

2008-10-31T20:58:00.000-07:00

Pics for John M's VERY late commission:

Here We Are Now...

2008-09-01T15:31:00.000-07:00

Yet another Geek Show Podcast is up, check it out here, or download it from iTunes! We had over 15,000 downloads last week, which is pretty kick ass!

Last night we premiered the first GeekShowPodcast double feature at Brewvies, Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan and the Empire Strikes Back. The Khan showing was one of the funniest things I have ever sat through, because, well, people are funny. And drunk, and yelling. A lot.

Still trying to get figures painted in a timely manner, but I am sucking at even coming close to a deadline. I might even start whining soon... Unfortunately, elder care and miniature painting sometimes conflict. I could go into great detail on some of the more entertaining things that have happened, but I'm saving it for a comic strip.

The Saga So Far

2008-08-24T20:42:00.000-07:00

So, here we are in Utah.

The boxes are everywhere, we are everywhere, and things are starting to settle down to normal, or as normal as moving your family of four three states over to take care of an eccentric 83 year old German with terminal cancer can be!

I'll get that part out of the way first. Oma is doing really well, all things considered, and seems to be responding well to her treatments. She went from having maybe a few weeks at best, to maybe having a few years. Despite the apparent disruption to our lives, we are having a pretty good time hanging out with her, and it's been good for Rachel to be close to her while she goes through treatments.

I have been trying to get Black Fez up and running, which is pretty much harder than I thought it would be. Everything was in a bunch of boxes, which made UN packing a real joy! It's starting to rev up again, though, so hopefully I can get some jobs finished and sent off soon!

On a really, super cool note, I have been invited to panel every week on the Geek Show Podcast. You can check out the show over here... I recorded my first show today with the rest of the Geeks at Brewvies, a pretty awesome cinema pub downtown. We're hosting a "healing of the tribes" double feature of Wrath of Khan and Empire Strikes Back there next Sunday, so come check it out. Also, if you like getting your podcasts from iTunes, just type in Geek Show and you'll find us there!

Eastward Ho!

2008-08-01T16:12:00.001-07:00

Something about all these boxes tells me we are moving. The missionaries are positioning again outside the Compound to get a better look, and some of them are wearing what I believe to be Stealth Mission Suits. Despite the snazzy light refraction gear, the pegged bike pant cuff is still a big give-away.

Some things have struck me recently. I like coffee. I love watching anime with my kids. Buffy the Vampire Slayer is pretty cool still. My friend Erin deserves a medal for pointing us towards the Best Pizza In the Fucking World. And, finally, the house is much easier to live in without Dipshit.

Poor Dippy. He was far to big to come with for the big move. He might knock the Honered Aged on her recuperating backside, and we can't have that. So, Dippy went to live with a friend of ours that has another Lab, and they are getting along beautifully. Actually, I think he's happier there than here.

Tuesday is the wake for the Hobo King. Both of my brothers are coming to town, we are scattering the ashes in the woods, and then we are going to commemerate his life by watching old epsiodes of the Honeymooners, bumming smokes off Hobos, and telling people about how there Used To Be No Fat People (tm). It should be a blast.

We are following that with the last family barbeque here in the PacNorWest. The barbeques are legendary, and much safer now that no-one drinks in excess next to the fire pit.

Then, on the tenth, we are starting up the big assed Penske Truck, pointing it East, and driving away. We're keeping the house, but it needs work before we can rent it out. It's going to be weird living somewhere else, yet having a home here.

I lost all the weight I gained back, and living in the Avenues of SLC will be cool. Lots of exploring to do, when I'm not painting my ass off. That's the cool part about being a Paint Slinger for Hire; You can take your brushes anywhere, and life mosies on.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have about 9 million miniatures to paint in the next 10 days!

The Hobo King Is Dead... Long Live the Hobo King...

2008-07-27T02:11:00.000-07:00

Funny thing about old men. They sound odd when they talk, and they tend to want to talk alot. What might seem to them as some impressive epifany expounding on the virtues of the Good Old Days becomes a tragi-comic expression of wind flapping past toothless lips.

Yesterday, the Hobo King moved on to the Great Beyond, where no one is fat, and there is a party on every corner. Everyone can dance, and all good boys take care of their moms. He leaves behind two daughters that they know of, despite several lost years in Guam during the Second World War. Those daughters spawned a few kids, one of them being me.

The Hobo King caught his nick-name when we observed him bumming a smoke from a homeless guy. I'm pretty sure the guy didn't realise he got reverse-handled until an hour or so later, and by that time the Legend had taken hold, and there was no stopping it.

The Hobo King was a bit of a Vagabond, with a sense of Wanderlust that could never, ever be quenched. Wherever he was, he wanted to be somewhere else. Always looking to move on to the next family member, always ready with a story and a quip about fat people.

He had a passion for Twinkies that would make even the most devout Junk-foodist hide in horror.

There wasn't a baloney sandwhich he wouldn't enjoy.

He was secretely married for a quarter century.

He was obsessed with Jewish people. We thought it might be prejudice, turns out it was awe.

The Hobo King spent most of his life trying to make the Chicken and Dumplings recipe his mother made, and from those culinary assassinations the Legend Of Bloody Dumplings arose.

Once he ambushed two teenagers with a snowball cannon he made with a box spring mattress, two two by fours and thirty plastic cups.

I spent the first twelve years of my life idolizing the Hobo King, 26 more loathing him, and the last two weeks of his life getting over it.

Yesterday, George Kade, the Hobo King died. My mom held his hand, and it was peaceful.

And now, things are about to get really interesting. Those of you who know me well will understand what I am about to say.

Hell Froze Over.

More soon.

Lessons Learned

2008-07-07T11:33:00.000-07:00

I have been having the most incredible couple of weeks.

In every way.

On one hand, a very dear family member may be very close to leaving for parts metaphysically unknown to Rachey and I. She seems to know where she is going, though, so we are happy for her, but in a bitter-sweet sort of way.

On the other, the journey of discovering my biological father's family has been fruitful, and as is often the case with fruit, some is sweet, some is sour, and some is over-ripe. Perhaps fermented. To say that I have learned more than I ever thought I would about him, his lineage, and his life is an understatement, and I have inherited a very sweet Aunt and Uncle, as well as two cousins that amaze me. One, in particular, might as well be my long lost sister.

As in any other set of experiences things have been learned, some hard, some brutal, some filled with bliss. Here, some illumination:

A man's right to call himself a father is a privilege he leases from his children, for life. Once a man looses sight of that, he deserves whatever misery he has brought upon himself, doubly so if that misery has been compounded on others.

We are all adrift, some of us in fleets, some in grand vessels, or paddleboats, or battleships, a few in beat up old schooners. And then, there are the dinghies.

There is no greater hell than the one you make.

Sometimes the greatest gift a person can give you is a road map on how NOT to get where they ended up.

Sometimes, the greatest gift a person can give you is the opportunity to belong.

Sometimes, the saddest thing may be the best thing.

No one is ever truly predictable.

My wife staggers me still.

********************************************************************************

I'm CUUUUUURRRRSSSED!!!

2008-07-03T01:25:00.000-07:00

No, really. Whenever I think I have it down, something weird happens. Not bad, usually, but weird. I will get into some of it, and some of it I will not.

We have a bad illness in the extended family, and that's adding some sad/mad/badness around here, but the prognosis is positive. Not good, but positive.

A few months ago I had a major hissy fit when I found out my biological father died. That got some things in motion, and I am slowly connecting with his family. I have met some pretty cool people, too, including a very sweat Aunt and Uncle, and two cousins my age that I didn't know about a month ago. I'm a little giddy, if I have to be honest about it. That, and for a history buff like me, being able to trace your family tree back 900 years is pretty spiffy.

Business? I'm slow. Slower than before. Why? Damned progress. I had to go and get better at what I do, which made me pickier. I have been mixing up different types of glazing mediums which can be layered without streaking, and the effect can be startling. Hopefully, my clients will understand that the slow is a good thing... Here, I'll prove it:

The figure on the left was a few months ago; Nothing shabby, but the highlights are extreme, and the shading is thick. On the right is the same style of figure, but painted this week with the new technique and glazes that I made up. Shading is subtle, highlights are smooth, and he looks like he wants to walk out of the picture and eat you! Problem is, it takes longer to do! CUUUURRRSSSEED!!! Mwahahahahaaaa!

Ahhh, lost it there a bit. Sorry!

He Says He Wants To Make Movies...

2008-06-25T22:26:00.000-07:00

The boy has an eye for detail, and I have been waiting for him to get old enough to work the digital and teach him the basics of stop-motion animation. Here, Ladies and Gentlemen, is his first actual animation!

Re-Painting the Pre-Paint 2: DDM Elf Archer

2008-06-20T18:49:00.000-07:00

This whole thing has become fairly therapeutic. You wouldn't think that painting miniatures would be relaxing to a miniature painter, but these kind of take a lot of the labor out of painting, and since I'm not trying to knock any socks off, I can just sling paint and damn the consequences! It's almost like wanting to watch a Peter Sellers movie, but you're always watching Peter Sellers movies, so you put in a Dudley Moore movie and pretend Peter Sellers is in it. It's fun, most of the work has been done for you, and with a little effort your imagination makes it a better experience. Unless you're talking Bedazzled, because no-one, I mean NO ONE, can top Moore in Bedazzled. Utterly brilliant.

So, same tactic as with the Gnoll I showed previously. The first shot is the Elf Archer in all his crap-slap paint app glory, the second shot shows some simple dry brush and highlighting, while the third picture is the finished shot after washes have been applied. 20 minutes, start to finish, and a pretty underwhelming figure becomes, well, whelming.

I Need a Beer

2008-06-19T16:51:00.000-07:00

Beer is not on the diet. The diet is going well, but I have a hard time burning the midnight oil without the excess calories. Whine, whine, whine.

This past week was going to be a marathon of back patting and "way to go" saying. A large amount of miniatures had been finished, and I was a happy, albeit tired and diet cranky miniaturist. Monday afternoon I was going to spray coat the figures I had done, but held off for Tuesday, due to some unannounced family that dropped in. Things got hectic, I put it all off again, and then disaster struck.

Anyone who has stalked my website galleries knows about my problem with spray varnish. It is the devil, and reacts to all kinds of things, humidity, heat, oil futures, you name it. I found long ago that all kinds of things can be avoided if you shake the damned can before you spray. Just because I say I learned that doesn't mean I ever freaking remember that, though.

I was happy. I was giddy. I was floating on an air of accomplishment. Insert your own excuse for my state of mind. I went out, laid out the minis on my spray area, picked up the can of matte finish, and sprayed.

White powder. It's like I flocked 36 miniatures with Christmas tree flock. I have been in recovery mode since. And now?

I want a beer.

Gut Wrenching Sight...

2008-06-17T14:11:00.000-07:00

This afternoon I went to the health food store to pick up some all-natural, frech ground peanut butter for the kids, and some tasty fare-trade coffee for me. I had been waiting for the mail to get here, as I was expecting a package from a client. I am so damned glad I wasn't here when it arrived.

The USPS does a pretty good job. I have been shipping through them almost daily for over a year now, and have only had one lost package, and no damages. I have learned a few things, though, chief among them being the Law Of Priority Mail. Yeah, it's a few bucks more, but less than priority is, well, less than a priority to the USPS. Your first class or parcel post package gets bumped in favor of priority for room. Not a problem for small boxes, but bigger ones can be a problem. Take a look at the following pics:

To say I almost pulled a Hunter S. Thompson (got drunk, drove onto a commencement speach platform on my Harley, told everyone to get screwed, and fired my shotgun at the ceiling before passing out) would be putting it lightly. I knew what was in this squished, wet box. Since when did the mighty USPS start using boxes of miniatures as suppositories for cranky hippoes? The box was smashed, three inches shorter than it should be, and wet. Huh? Wet? Then I opened the "box". There was over $300 worth of stuff inside, and the hippo had been busy.

I was pretty sure I was going to have to put on my ER face and tell the client the bad news: "I'm sorry, Mr. Shui, we did everything we could but..." Well, the but here being that everything survived. Not a single thing missing or damaged in those mangled packages. Don't know how, but I'll chalk this one up to luck. If anything had been damaged, things could have gotten really, really depressing.

Would it have made any difference if the package had been insured? Nope. The policy on an insurance claim is that the inventory is destroyed. So, another however long to replace the Forgeworld pieces. Yeesh. Luckily, this story at least has a happy ending.

Oops!

2008-06-16T13:00:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, you update the blog daily. Sometimes, you do it three or four times a day, and your mom tells you that you'll go blind if you keep it up. So, you decide to take a little break, and 11 days goes by.

A very productive, if not stressfull, 11 days, though.

A couple I have known and loved since I was 18 decided to split up, and that kind of rocked my foundation a little. These guys were the ones I looked at when I needed reminding of what a stable relationship was when I was too young and stupid to know for myself. Seeing them fall apart after 20 years was brutal, and I hope they both get through it okay, since they are both great, loving people. The counter to it, though, is that another couple I know finally announced their engagement, and if you saw these two together, you would understand how cool that is, so that little bit of news brought some balance to all of the rest! It's been a good year for Erin, now, hasn't it?

New stuff at the webpage, including some cool Vespid sting wings and Sisters of Battle. They have been done for a while, I just forgot to update the Blog on that. Oops, again.

My kids have decided to enter the miniature hobby, and have been picking up some of the new D&D miniatures. Hearing the happy sound of rolling dice and combat resolution coming from the back of the house has brought a smile to my face on more than one occasion, especially when my 8 year old daughter's squeaky little voice loudly proclaims that her Beholder eviscerated someone.
Being a miniature painter, though, I found the pre-painted minis hard to stomach. Sure, open the pack and there you are. But, 15 minutes with a dry brush and a few washes, and you can have some pretty cool figs, as illustrated with this progression of a gnoll, from package to touched up:

So, while the idea of pre-painted miniatures strikes me as a good match for people who can't (or don't like to) paint their own miniatures, the fact that you can spiffy them up this quick makes me pretty happy.

More later today. I had a rant about something a few months ago that has turned really damned interesting!

The Mind Wobbles!

2008-06-05T00:22:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I went on and on about the coolness that is the laser decals I had printed up. Being able to paint and draw the original art bigger, then resize it in Photoshop, has allowed me to produce some really striking art for the models. The question was whether they would look good when actually applied. The answer? Oh. Hell. Yes.

The actual ramifications of all this are yet to be seen, but my mind is seething. Bill in Florida is going to be seeing some nose-cone art for a few of his Tau Pirana that will get some "holy shit" reactions from his opponents.

David in California is going to see some details on the back of his Sisters of Battle Canoness that wouldn't be possible for me to do with a bare brush, and that's hard for me to say. I have to believe that I can paint anything that I set my mind to, but with the decals, I can do some really scary cool stuff. Buck in Atlanta is going to see a new wave of scrolling on his Blood Angels that will punch some Gothic wow onto his models. It's really cool being able to put some of my art on the models that I paint, and cool that these guys are up to the "experiment".

The secret is using laser paper. The bubble jet stuff works good, but you have to spray so much sealant that the resulting decal is thick, and there is the issue of print quality. None of that comes up with the laser, and with the good decal solvent, you can't
see the edges of the decal on the finished model.

I have some sci-fi style pin up girl art that I am going to be applying to the hulls of some Imperial Guard tanks. The possibilities here are indeed endless!

Giddy As A 38 Year Old Male Schoolgirl...

2008-06-04T02:34:00.000-07:00

Painting can be hard on the back. Painting little, itty bitty bite-sized army men can be a pain in all the muscles around the back, and a few around the Ruemcclannahangellen area. Sometimes, I wonder to myslef "hey, this whole quit your job and paint little bite sized army men thing... Uhm, that still cool to you, 51 weeks in?" and of course, I have to answer with a big fat yuppers.

The key to keeping yourslef sane in a home based business is to keep things new. Try and come up with new ways to get escited about what you do. You can only paint SOOOO many Space Marines before you start anticipating where the next bottle of beer is going to get hidden by the kids instead of focussing on you work. You HAVE to keep it fresh!

The freshness this week (aside from the part of my brain that is geeking out on the new Netflix Streaming Teevee Player) is playing with decals on the larger models. A large part of my success as a miniaturist has been due to my eye for detail; I like to cram it in to all the small places, perhaps even into and around the wazoo region of the model. I played with bubble jet decal paper, and it sucked, so I let some other shiney thing distract me awhile.

Then, Rachey started doing REALLY cool things with decals. We printed our own for a while, but then the idea to get laser copies made on good paper hit, and she never looked back. It took awhile, but the idea to go back and try it myself finally crept around. Here is the first result:

Normally, I would have spent a lot of time free-handing this design onto the tank, and while it would have looked good, it wouldn't have looked this damend sweet... I still paint some details onto the design, and it's still custom work, since all the illustration is mine in the first place.

Now, I just have to stay focused and finish the jobs on the table before I play too much more.

Nothing Says Funny Like A Penis

2008-06-01T17:26:00.000-07:00

Saturday is traditionally my day off at the lab. I still go to work at the Farmer's Market with my wife for the morning, but really all I do is offer pithy comments, harass her with libidinous observations, and bask in the glory that is her F-bomb dropping glory. Seriously, the woman could make a whole fleet of profanity addicted circus midgets at a Tourett's convention blush, sit down in mute silence, then errupt into an earth shattering chorus of applause until they combust with the frenetic friction of their clapping, jumping, and merrilly yelling "fuckity fuck fuck!".

Gods, I love that woman.

I digress, though. Saturday is my day off, despite the yadda-yadda. Sometimes we go out to eat, sometimes we go for a drive, but more nights than not, we huddle around the meagre flicker of our 52 inch screen and watch us some fine-fangled entertainment. Lately there has been a rash of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but after 5 seasons in 5 weeks I needed a break. I wanted to watch something, ANYTHING not Buffy. Rachel was neutral, the Girl has no say yet, and I was leaning towards a comedy. The Boy had other ideas.

The Boy has been desperately trying to get me to watch Terminator 2: Jim Cameron is Highly Overated But Puts Out Some Entertaining Movies In My Judgement Day. The Boy even went so far as to purchase his own copy of said entertainment, and if you ever wanted to know how hard it is for a 12 year old kid to walk into a major chain department store, plunk down some cash, and walk out with an R Rated movie, I would have to tell you not very damned. If you were to ask me how badly I wanted to watch T2, I would have to say not very damned much.

The problem with T2 comes down to me. I really didn't like it when it came out, but I like watching movies with the Boy. I have been slowly indoctrinating him to the pantheon of Cool Geek Cinema since he turned 12, so he's had a few of the Grown-Up Greats; Army of Darkness, The Terminator, Last House on the Left (I'm kidding about the last, I wouldn't even show that to an adult). The caveot to all of these cinematic diversions has been that he cannot watch them alone, because he is 12, and since I don't work at Target I have to aknowledge that he may in fact be too young to view them alone.

I had Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story on the desk from Netflix. I remember vaguely muttering "how bad can it be"? to my self as I slowly lost my resolve against T2. The boy won out, we watched T2, and I scored after when Rachey still had enough energy to watch Walk Hard. I am so glad (hindsight and all that) that the boy won. Walk Hard would have destroyed him. He would have laughed his ass off, I'll give you that, but his fragile little mind would have warped beyond recognition.

It's a funny movie. Damned funny. Nuanced would be putting too much of a nuance on it. The performances are dead-on funny, and not once is a cliche of the music docu-drama passed up. The wit is layered, but never once do you feel like you are being pandered to, and never once do you feel stupid if you actually like the type of movie that is being skewered here. Funny. Funny and Crass as Hell.

I should let you know that I don't edit much around my kids. I think they should hear real words spoken in real ways, and see how they impact people. I don't let them walk around talking like their mother, but I let them exist in the world with these words. They are WORDS, and knowing that, they have little power in my children's habitat. I am also not going to freak out if my kid sees a naked person on television. I'm not showing it them either, but what would you rather your kid accidentally see on the tube? A naked person, or someone getting their intestines ripped out and used in an interior decorating scheme?

Walk Hard has some serious nudity, though. And the Penis. Lots and Lots of the Penis. Not a mean, glaring and angry penis, just a silly, flaccid penis, placed to great effect and getting more laughs out of me than I expected. I never thought that expert Penis Placement could be such a humorous visual (outside of some of my more unfortunate romantic exchanges, that is).

I have always known the fine line between funny Penis and just plain wrong Penis. I won't use the restroom at the Roseburg Cinema because they have no partition between the urinals. I can't just stand there, business in hand, next to complete strangers. I always harbored a fear that some looky-loo was going to walk up and strike up a conversation at the Cinema while I was trying to finish my business. This has happened to me before, but never in a place without damned partitions. What do you say to someone when they ask you a question while you're standing there exposed? "I'm sorry, I can't comment on your Larry the Cable Guy impersonation because I have my penis in my hand and I feel very exposed and vunerable here at the cinema"? I spent years of my life making sure that my penis was only seen intentionally, and even then only in costumes, shadow puppetry, or Kabuki theatre.

I have to instill and uphold this behavior stridently, because it needs to be a core value for me when I go senile in another couple of years. If I'm not carefull, I'll be one of those old guys, walking around downtown with his Secret Shame drawn up over the drawstring of his sweatpants. That can never, ever be me. The thought of my wife and I, strolling absent mindedly through the park, me with my exposed member, and her cussing out the multitudes for their mere existence strikes a certain chord of fear within me.

I am hoping then, for my sake, that Walk Hard is the Spearhead of a new movement in Penis Placement in the movies and teevee. If people get used to the sight of a penis just hanging out, doing nothing but being there, all funny looking and harmless, my future as a trouser-challenged geriatric won't be so alarming. People will still point and laugh, but it won't be because of the exposure.

It'll be because of the costume it's wearing. Nothing says funny like a penis masquerading as Bea Arthur.

My First AICN Article

2008-05-31T19:41:00.000-07:00

And it may be my last, hard to say. Regardless, something I wrote ended up on Aint It Cool News, and that's, well, Cool. Here's the link...

Things are still crazy as hell here at the labs. Working on the Mother Of All Tau armies, finishing up a pretty good sized Dark Angels force, three full squads of Sisters of Battle, 5 Space Wolves, a couple of Land Raiders, and a bunch of other stuff. And, I had to go back to diet land. Who would have thought sitting around painting little plastic soldiers all day made it easy to gain weight?

All that, and I still haven't weighed in on any movies this month. We saw two, and I loved them both for entirely different reasons. Speed Racer? Oh hell yeah. I HATE racing movies, but like any other kid who had a pencil box full of Hot Wheels I know what it SHOULD look like. Corkscrew race tracks, jumps, and combat saw blades. Goofy as hell, with it's heart firmly on sleeve. And exactly why it made $14.87 at the box office.

Iron Man? Oh hell yeah squared. Don't need to say anymore than that. We'll see Indy after it's been out for a while, and get ready for Hellboy 2.

The weather in Oregon is making me loopy. Two weeks ago at market Rachel and I both got heat stroke after standing in the 102 degree weather for 5 hours. It's been raining ever since, and here it is on the eve of June and not breaking 60. Wowwee...

Two months ago the boy bought T2. He has been hounding me ever since on when the watching will commence. The commencement shall be now. Damned Boy. Making me watch a loud action movie! I'll get him! Nothing but Rom-Coms for the rest of the week!

How To Get A Girl To Play Warhammer

2008-05-26T00:44:00.000-07:00

Not my pics, but I downloaded them here... Many wargamers complain that the woman in their life has very little (if any) interest in the hobby. I lucked out in that my wife actually finds some of it interesting, has a passing knowledge of the fiction behind the game, and knows the difference between the armies. Her acceptance of my hobby went up several degrees when I started making a living with it, but she still won't play the damned game. I can't see why, with the 4 to 8 hour running time, moving hundreds of little plastic figures all over the kitchen table! Gosh, that sounds like every woman's dream come true!

Well, not really. But the pics below might get a few women interested in the game. Maybe.

I Think It's A Beck Song...

2008-05-24T04:27:00.000-07:00

Insomnia, that is. Here it is, Saturday morning and a mere 2 hours before I am set to get up and help Rachey with the Market. That's right, Sally. Leigh's going to market, and he's selling crafts to little old ladies. And shaking hands. You know, the social thing. Being friendly like, and not scaring the locals. Something I am pretty sure I'm only partly capable of doing.

I'm up because I have a ton of commissions still on the bench staring me down. I have actually hired on some help with the assembly aspect of the job, and he's doing pretty damend good, so at least that part of my slowness can be sped up a bit. Oh, dear God. I am so. Damned. Slow. Add that to my chronic prefectionism, and that can lead to some pretty long and occasionally sleepless nights. The jobs are pretty big this month, but I got two more Tau squads done for one client, and a cool Deathwing sergeant done for another.

Next week I am going to be writing an article about one aspect of my line of work for a pretty major entertainment site. I'll keep you posted on when and where it is, I just don't want to jinx it yet. The whole idea of this article has me even less capable of sleep!

Normally, I would put something in this Blog right about now about a duck with a hernia trying to buy a crate of watermelons, but I just don't have it in me. Maybe tomorrow... If I get some sleep!

Rocking The Labs for Wednesday May 21, 2008

2008-05-21T10:33:00.000-07:00

I should have said every 16 days.

Truth be told, boys and girls, uncle Leigh has been busier than a tumor in Ted Kennedy's brain. Lots and lots of work, and my hand is starting to look like a very sexy claw. So sexy, in fact, that you can see video of it wearing different outfits for only $29.95 a month!

I should have announced these guys earlier, because I find myself going back to them more than any other band out there. I feel in my heart that I am a Gyspy, and what music can speak to the heart of a disenchanted Anarchist Gypsy more than a group of disenchanted Gypsy punk rocker immigrants? Might I introduce you to Gogol Bordello?

I grew up listening to the great Punk music of the 80's, lots of Black Flag, Suicidal Tendencies, and the Smiths. Oh, sure. Tell me the Smiths weren't punk. GO ahead. It wasn't until I found the Pogues that I really knew what Punk music was all about, though. It's folk music for pissed folk, and even a band with a fiddle can be pissed as hell. I swam in a sea of the Pogues for several years, and all was well in the world.

A couple of months ago I heard a song on the music service that made me sit right the hell up and listen. It was called Wonderlust King. It had a singer that sounded like a Slavic Wacko Warner singing over a 6 piece Hell section that was backed up by an accordian and a polka band. The song gloried in the sheer glory of being a soul without a home or worry, and half way through launched into a chorus that I am pretty sure was Russsian. Oh, I was hooked.

Gogol Bordello gets it's name from a guy named Gogol, who likes to visit the whores. Simple enough! The band is made up of a bunch of immigrants in New York from the Ukrain, Romania, you name it. The music is part Ska, part Punk, part Dub, a lot of Rock, and a dash of kitchen sink. Highlights for me so far have been the above mentioned song, which will get even the stingiest foot a-tapping; American Wedding is a blast, with it's sonic lament of Stateside nuptials... Where indeed is the Vodka that lasts three days? The whole Gypsy Punk thing gets me more fired up than even the greatest episodes of Giada Eats Stuff and Shows Off Her Rack, and that's saying a lot.

Check them out. Save it for when that uptight neighbor comes over, and if they don't run out the door, buttocks firmly clutched in fear, they'll be tongue kissing your cat for hours. Trust me!

I Am Sad... So Very Sad...

2008-05-21T01:50:00.000-07:00

And you where wondering why? I could tell you, or I could let you ask me for this post back. Up to you!